its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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