Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
