You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
