would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
