I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
