So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
how drunk are you?
Several
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize