Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
