She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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