Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
North Korea, Best Korea!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
