Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We are two peas in an std pod
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
