I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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