I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
