happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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