I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
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I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
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Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We had sex on a dog bed..
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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