Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
