You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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