just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
