I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
