I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
