what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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