Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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