I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
