I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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