Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
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There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
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We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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