Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
