I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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