I cockslap morals
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
