guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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