honey bunches of taint.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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