Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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