Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
