im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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