I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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