Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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