I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
