Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(852): View more from

i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?

(256): View more from Alabama

Stay away from his face.

(852): View more from

so i go for his dick?

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.

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(209): View more from California

i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.

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(518): View more from New York

We left an ass print on the piano.

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(334): View more from Alabama

I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.

(1-334): View more from Alabama

Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.

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(586): View more from Michigan

I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am

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(214): View more from Texas

If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.

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(518): View more from New York

I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.

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