: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
