I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I could fuck to npr.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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