he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
