p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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