Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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