Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
no, he came in my armpit
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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