So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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