The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
