I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize