It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
