My sheets look like a crime scene.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
