Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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