hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize