People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
