I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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