i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
