so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
