I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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