I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize