I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
