Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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