when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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