It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
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