I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
