I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
